The Lie Clock

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Postat in Amuzante, Bancuri in data de 31-07-2009

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, “What are all those clocks?”

St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.”

“Oh,’ said the man, “whose clock is that?”

“That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”

“Incredible, ‘ said the man. “And whose clock is that one?”

St. Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.”

“Where’s Obama’s clock?” asked the man.

“Obama’s clock is in Jesus’ office . . . He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”

BANC: Curaj si frica

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Postat in Amuzante, Bancuri in data de 23-07-2009

Un american si un rus se lauda:
Americanul:
- La noi… cand trece Bush, toata lumea arunca cu fructe in el, il scuipa, il injura, etc etc…
Rusul:
- La noi cand trece Putin, toata lumea urineaza pe el… care mai de care…

Americanul:
- Ei, hai sa fim seriosi; am exagerat si noi putin… Il injuram dar mai in soapta… aruncam spre el… dar nu il atinge nimeni…
Rusul:
- Pai si noi am exagerat putin… Intr-adevar, urinam, dar nu ne dam pantalonii jos…

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Citand “un clasic in viata”, continuam in aceeasi nota nostalgica pentru Mama Rusia…

Un francez, un rus si un neamt se laudau cu realizarile tarilor lor.
Francezul: – Noi avem automobile foarte moderne, dar folosim Renault-ul pentru deplasare in interiorul Frantei, si Peugeot-ul, cand mergem in afara Frantei.
Neamtul: – Si noi la fel, folosim Volkswagen-ul in interiorul Germaniei si Mercedesul, cand mergem in afara.
Rusul: – Aaaaaaa, pai si noi la fel, folosim Lada in Rusia si tancurile peste hotare…

BANC: Impingeti-ma

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Postat in Amuzante, Bancuri in data de 23-07-2009

Dimineata se aude o bataie in usa. Se scoala sotu, cand deschide usa, sta unu zambind:
- Ce vrei mah, in plm e ora 3 dimineata!!
- Scuze, n-ati putea sa ma impingeti?!
- Du-te bah de aici, la 3 dimineata? si ii inchide usa in nas, si se duce inapoi in pat langa sotie.
Sotia il intreaba:
- Cine a fost la ora asta? Read the rest of this entry »

Noul BMW M1

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Postat in Imagini in data de 23-07-2009

Am primit si poze cu noul BMW M1.
Poftiti… va rog!

Suport tehnic: Instalare soft Husband 1.0

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Postat in Amuzante in data de 22-07-2009

A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy
Dear Tech Support ,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 .

In addition, Husband 1..0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1 .
Read the rest of this entry »